- find out what I want in life
- this moment to happen
- be a Dean's List-er
- learn how to ride a motorcycle
- go skydiving
- go scuba diving
- make my own blog layout
- learn how to use Flash
- travel more
- improve my drawing skills
- VINTAGE
- go to a Flea market
- a Tarot Card Deck
- fashion sense
- femme outfits
- witty t-shirts
- vintage clothes and accessories
- make my own clothes!
- go on a shopping spree
- contribute to WWF
- a DSLR
- bake something
- A CAR
- A CAR THAT I CAN DRIVE - an underwater camera
- cosplay again
- visit my online friends
- stop being a safeist
- happiness
Feeling a tad bit Sentimental, aye. Listening to:Zero7 ~ Destiny
I miss my girls. ;_;
I miss Ginno. X3
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I believe I've found myself a new layout. :D But since it's 2am, I'll upload it when I get home later.
Hay. I really don't have the motivation to study. Which is very, very bad. If I'm to get myself into Ateneo, I have to study. For some reason, I feel so stuck in the daily grind that my goal of transferring is overshadowed. There is actually no guarantee that I'll be any happier in Ateneo, but.. it's worth a shot. Earlier, I was sitting in the classroom, eating a tuna sandwich I bought with Coco in Seven-Eleven, and I was just looking at my friends. Even though everything is pretty shitty when it comes to school, they still look happy, in one way or another. They're content with where they are. (I'm not implying that this is a bad thing, ah.) What exactly is it that makes a person satisfied? It's this level at which we are content that somehow separates us from one another. If we aren't satisfied with something, we seek something better. This level, it doesn't exactly mean that if it's higher the person will get farther in life. It just plays a role in our lives, affecting what we do and what we strive to do. Where we are and who we're with. It's just one of the more stable attributes of our lives that, when mixed with the uncertainty of life and circumstance, can give out a multitude of results. Some people who strive so hard to acheive their dreams sacrifice everything only to fall short of what they were working for. Some leave it all to chance, and in the end, everything works out without a hitch. Everything we do is a risk. Choosing to strive for more is a risk. Choosing to tolerate what you have is a risk. Choosing to be content with what is going on is a risk. Every risk is a decision.
I just realized that, even though I make the decisions in my life, I'm not actually in control of it. Before, I found it hard to mix the words Fate and Free will. When someone asked me if I believed in Fate, I would often give mixed answers. Sometimes I'd say yes, sometimes I'd say no. Sometimes I'd say I'd rather think that I was the one in control of my life, not just some unknown entity called Fate. But in truth, they work hand in hand. We make a decision based on our free will, and destiny rolls the die, presenting us with situations and circumstances, prompting us to make another decision based on what is given to us. Add to that the circumstances caused by the free will of others. It's like a big web wherein we're all connected, affecting each other, colliding and altering each other's Fates.
After that long, philosophical paragraph, I go back to the topic of college and decisions. There is no guarantee that I'll be happy in Ateneo, or that I'll even make it into the Ateneo. But I have to try. I have to.
Moving on.. I want to have a burning session. One of these days, we have to plan this. There are a number of things I'd like to burn. Offer them to the great beyond, so that it'll be done and over with. Some might think of it as overly symbolic. Why burn them when you can just cut them up or tear them up or something? I suppose. But I'm still a chick, so symbolism still plays a big role in my life.
I watched Pirates of the Caribbean 2 with Coco and Ags this morning. It was pretty good. Uber hanging though. It'd be pretty cool being a pirate. Eating babies and sailing the seven seas. Too bad they didn't like women on their ships. Sexist pigs. (LOL) Such a carefree life; drinking rum all day, beating the shit out of fellow pot-bellied drunkards at night. Moving from port to port, ransaking, heart-breaking, stealing and recruiting. Black flags with a skull and cross bones. Rifles and hand guns. Wooden ships. Walking the plank. Sabres and eye patches, parrots and wooden legs. A map, a key, and a treasure chest. X marks the spot.
