- find out what I want in life
- this moment to happen
- be a Dean's List-er
- learn how to ride a motorcycle
- go skydiving
- go scuba diving
- make my own blog layout
- learn how to use Flash
- travel more
- improve my drawing skills
- go to a Flea market
- a Tarot Card Deck
- fashion sense
- femme outfits
- witty t-shirts
- vintage clothes and accessories
- make my own clothes!
- go on a shopping spree
- contribute to WWF
- a DSLR
- bake something
- A CAR
- A CAR THAT I CAN DRIVE - an underwater camera
- cosplay again
- visit my online friends
- stop being a safeist
Bleh. I hope there's no school tomorrow. I'm not in the mood to go to school tomorrow.
Today there was no school. Yay for holidays. So we just bummed about at home for the whole day. I played iRO for a while, until Jeth complained that it wouldn't let him connect to the internet. :P Then the internet went down completely. So I watched A Walk to Remember, finally. 'Twas sweet. But sad. :( Then after that, the internet went back up, and I was back to playing again. But I played pRO this time, so Jeth could access the internet. Then I got bored and forumed instead.
Anyway. I'm so blah. Totally, completely, BLAH.
I'm confused, a bit jealous, and completely out of my mind.
Holding it Together Listening to: Drowning myself in Spongecola's Una
I'm seriously trying to hold myself together.. Just don't let it get to you, just don't let it get to you. The week is almost over.
The internet isn't working again.
I don't know if I'll last the week. Mom has been worse and worse since the weekend. Yesterday she threatened to not let me go to my friend's birthday celebration this saturday. She slapped me on the leg when she saw me talking on the phone. I've decided to avoid her at all costs until the weekend. Everything she says... it's like a blow to the soul.
I just want to get away from everything! It's as if Mom stabs me with every constricting thing she does to me. No internet, no phone... I'm just waiting for her to take my cellphone... But I'm trying to believe that she's doing it for my own good, even if it's just making me feel worse.. Dad isn't helping... and my brother doesn't make it any better either... He blackmails me with the fact that only he can restore the PC... School isn't exactly the best either.. at least my friends are there, and they make me happy... and I have the people I talk to on YM... which isn't working at the moment because my internet connection is bitching on me... It's at this moment that I want to talk to someone, but then again, I'm the kind of person who seldom admits that something is wrong.
I don't want to pass this feeling on to anyone... this feeling of sadness and hopelessness, frustration and irony, this feeling of being lost, like a child lost on a busy street. It's not a feeling you want to pass on to people you care about..
Camping was ok... Twas wet tho! The first task we were faced with was pitching the tent! I helped Carmi and Joma pitch the tent for the bags. Then we had to pitch Camilla's tent! :o It was big. It took us a while to get it up and fixed, but it sure was worth it. XD The tent was nice and big. (And it stayed dry, as we were to find out.)
Then we had to cook. O_o I had to dig holes in the ground with a spade for our tripod which was way too high... so in the end we didn't use the tripod, and that means I dug 4 holes for no reason. XD But anyway, just cooking the rice was funny. The fire kept on dying on us, and when it was finally boiling, the cover fell off, and grass got into the rice!! XD In the end, we ate the rice only almost cooked, mixed with 'bicol express' and chicken. And we used our hands. Hahaha! When I went to wash my hands, I realized I still had charcoal on my fingers.. Ew.
After dinner, we just bummed around until the bonfire ceremony started. Camilla and Racine fell asleep in the tent, while the rest of Scarlet Moon bummed about on the banigs outside the tent.
After the bonfire ceremony, which included presentations from each patrol, I got to lead my patrol around the school while they were blindfolded. XD It was fun! I brought them thru a lot of stairs. Hahaha! At one point Ms. Aureada kidnapped me and Guia was left at the front of the line shouting out to me! Evil~!! XD Then we had the Treasure Hunt... Uber weird... It was more like the Amazing Race than a Treasure Hunt. After the treasure hunt was sleeping time! I decided to take a shower at this time as I would have an easier time sleeping... Geez, I had to take a shower OUTSIDE, in the DARK! *rolls over laughing* Gawd. It was so funny. XD I tried to sleep early, but the tent next to us was noisy... so Racine and I just talked until 1:30am, then we fell asleep. Then, and hour and a half later, I woke up to get ready. I walked across the field with a dim flashlight by myself. XD It's a feat for a person who gets freaked out easlily.
We had The Gate of Silence and the Color Ceremony after everyone was up. Then Morning Exercises. We were supposed to eat breakfast after that, but since the rain was pouring at that time, we couldn't cook squat. So we had hotdog buns for breakfast. XD I begged our Scouting teacher if we could just order food, because everyone was starving, and the rain wouldn't let up.. Then everyone went back to their tents to get their stuff, just to find out that the rain had seeped thru and wet everying in their tents! Luckily for us, we covered our tents before we left for the ceremonies, and only a few things got wet. Others, all their things were soaking wet. We ordered Mcdo, and the rest of the Camping got cancelled, so we left school at 10am instead of 3pm.
Since I got off from camping at 10 instead of 3, I was able to get to the EB! XD I dragged Raince and Camilla with me. :P Mom still believed that someone would slip ecstacy into my drink or something.. Anyway, I met up with them in Glorietta. We were 15 all in all, I think. I met up with a lot of people! :D Camilla and Racine went off to buy doughnuts in Greenbelt, so I went with the group to meet up with others who were coming later. After standing around near the fountain for a while, we went to the foodcourt. I never realized it was that big. XD Of all the times I've been to that particular part of Glorietta, I can't believe I didn't see that it was that big. Anyway, Leng bought us shomai! :P It wasn't a drink, so I ate it. XD At one point one of us fell asleep at the table... and we slowly changed tables and left him there. XD It was so mean... but I couldn't help but stiffle a laugh when they woke him up. After that, we went to Timezone! Racine, Camilla and I introduced them to Bishi Bashi! XD Yay, go Bishi Bashi. :P Then, at 6, we left to meet up with my parents. I fell asleep on the way home.
Now I'm a bit annoyed with my parents... I mean, right after I get to know my guildmates, my mom bans me from playing on weekdays. I fell alseep on the way home.. I barely had 2 hours of sleep, and when we get home dad wakes me up like I'm some sort of lazy bum, rudely saying that he knows that I'm not asleep because someone texted me. Gaaaaah. I hate it when nice days get ruined by others.
But whatever. I took a cold shower. I felt better afterwards.
Haay... Time for me to be away from home again on a friday night. Where else will I be? AT SCHOOL! Gah. Camping.
I wouldn't mind if the camping was just a regular camping, but since it's for Scouting, we've got the full set of ceremonies. We have to make so many things, and bring a whole bunch of stuff too! Have to make a banner, have to make Pahiyas decor, have to make a sun, have to make a tripod... Aaaaaaaaaaargh.
Normally I'd be pretty excited. Actually, I was excited last week. But now that it's become a hassle, I just want to get it over with.. T_T
I can definitely say that school is starting to get on my nerves.
Death and Rebirth of my PC Listening to: Una ~ Sponge Cola
OPM is so good.
My hard drive finally gave in to old age on Thursday. Since we have our old back up CDs, we still have a lot of our files, but everything after that that I saved is lost.. Crap. That sucks. T_T
A lot has happened over the weekend. And for once, it's not directly connected to my PC. =P Well, other than what I typed above. I talked on the phone for 5 hours straight... I used up 300 pesos load in roughly one week.. O_o Plus some confessions here and there. =P
I guess having the PC die gave me the chance to do these things. But now that the PC lives once more, will I return to being a PC junkie? Afterall, WORKSTATION is still my 'boyfriend'. I think my leave for Discov and for the province gave him a heart ache and thus burned his hard drive. XD Anyway.. Ack. Cut short. Have to go. Mom ish mad.
Discovery Batch 73 Listening to: Third Eye Blind ~ Blinded
Since I'm not as diligent as Racine, Camilla and Karina in updating my blog, I'm only writing this now. :P
Discov was way better than what I expected it to be. When we got to the retreat house across the parking lot to the school, we were the only ones there, besides Marc and Miggy, two facilitators. Of course, there was Sister Anna, but who wants to hear about her? XD
Anyway, people slowly started to show up.. Someone said it was going to start at 4:30, which it never did. :P Camilla, Racine and I bummed about in our room for nearly 3 hours. I honestly thought that the person who said it would start at 4:30 should be kicked in the groin.
Shortly after that it started. 11 girls, 10 boys. 2 girls were from St. Scho. We had to introduce ourselves, and we made drawings of what we wanted to be in the future. I'm proud of my super neon green stick man! :P Then we had to search the retreat house for 5 qualities we thought we needed to survive on Survivor. Then we had to choose which were important to us, and we would be left with one. I was left with confidence. It's in my wallet now. :P
Second day. The bell from hell. XD We woke up with a horrible ringing in our ears, and when we poked our heads out of our door, there was Miggy, ringing a huge bell which we christened Sandara. It was that bad. Too bad for us, that bell was used as alarm clock and as a pre-activity thingie. The first game of the day involved us joining hands and making a circle. Then we had a hula hoop which we had to move thru around the cirle. And we had to do it in under a minute! Evil Edu and the stopwatch on his phone. XD After that game, we made shirts from paper... I forgot to take mine home. :( After that, we played 'Trip to the Moon'. I didn't get the pattern until the 3rd round. XD Then we had 'The Perfect Model'. I felt sorry for Elise. XD
Then there was North South. I don't know exactly how long it took us to get it done. >:P It was torture! But we got it done eventually. After that was the Amazing Race. We were a group of 5; Carlo, Elise, Danica, Jenny and I. We had to do 4 challenges. The first we had was Target Shooting. I was disappointed that I missed. =/ Second we had to 'tie' ourselves together. We had to string ourselves to one another by sticking yarn thru your right sleeve, down to your left pant hole, then to the right sleeve of the next person. And I was wearing my tight capris. So I had to stick my hand down my capris infront of everyone. XD Haaaaaaaay. Then we had to dance. Miggy wondered out loud how I got the string down my capris. Pfffft. Last, we had to walk with wooden planks. We were noisy. As in, really noisy. XP
And my fav activity, Plastic Water War! Imagine having a water ballgot itoon fight, while blindfolded. XD I got hit by Kriz right as we started. >:P Cai got hosed, and Racine was pailed by her own Commander. XD Too bad it ended so fast. :(
Then we had the Trust Lift. I was near the front, so when I saw Racine lie down on the bed, I got a little freaked out. XD When it was my turn, it was a bit scared. Yish. But it went fine. I was a bit shaky afterwards tho. XD Then we sat in the dark and talked about our parents. Kari fell asleep! :P After the session, we were supposed to go to room 9, where Io was SURE there was a ghost. Well, there's been stories about room 9 since we were in... 6th grade, I think. O_o But it was locked, so we went to the entrance instead. The Courtyard door was unlocked, so we went out. Then Sister Anna came out, and we had to hide in the courtyard! XD It was so funny... then when she left, we ran back inside.
Third day. We started the Mass at 8 or so. Luckily we were able to eat breakfast before. We were messing around with the remote of the electric fans, then the power went out. =/ I was First Reader. Fr. Louie was our celebrant! :P He said I looked like Patricia Javier. O_O
We had games after the mass. Bahay Baboy Bagyo! :P I was supposed to have a consequence, along with Jay-R, Racine and Melai, but everyone forgot about it. :P Hehe, lucky. Then we had the Carwash. Basically we went one on one with each other. It was fun. I saw something I wasn't supposed to see. David needs to pull up his pants. XD
Anyhoo. We bummed around the conference room afterwards. Analyzed puzzles, watched a music video thing that made my skin have goosebumps, and planned to have a small concert. Racine wanted to have a Men's Bikini Carwash instead. XD Not so bad. Then we bummed around in the courtyard while waiting for the final activity. We each had to kneel before a armless figure of Christ and pray, and afterwards drink a bit of wine. Again, I couldn't help but feel a bit wierd. I felt like I was in a cult of some sort. O_o But I prayed and drank the wine. I think I drank a bit too much. Then a slide show was shown. The only pic there of me was with Camilla, and she was lying in my lap. :P
We got pics after. I had mine signed by everyone. Except for Danica and Jenny, because they left before I had the chance. >_< I soooo didn't want it to end. It was like a huge slumber party. XD I'm glad I went.
Hell Week! >_< Listening to: Dashboard Confessional ~ Hands Down (Full Band)
I shouldn't be online. I should be asleep. I should be packed for tomorrow, I should be done with my physics homework, I should be catching up on sleep I haven't had the whole week, but I'm not. Damn, that sucks. n_n;;
This week... has been hell week. Monday I stayed up all night at the cemetary. (I have a seperate entry for that) Tuesday I was in our car for 14 hours on our drive back home from the province. Wednesday I washed soda cans at Yeli's house. Dirty, cigarette filled, previously cockroach infested, dragged-in-the-mud cans. With no gloves. XD (I so hate that boat!) Thursday I stayed at Yeli's again to tape that darn boat together. Friday, I'm not going home at all. XD I'm attending a seminar that'll be held at the retreat house infront of the school for the whole weekend. Which, I haven't even packed for yet. But then again, all of my clothes are in the laundry, so technically I have no clothes to pack. (I feel sorry for myself. XD) So much time for meeh. n_n;
Actually, November is a busy month for me. O_o I don't have any free weekends. >_< Except for next week. After that, I have camping at school, then Gela's birthday. I feel sorry for my guitar teacher... his lessons have been run over completely. n_n;;
Third quarter has officially started. I'm off Physics remedial~! \o/ And Ms. Sulit said that our grades in Math went up, so I'm sure I did better than last last quarter. But Pinoi still scares the crap out of me. >_<
Anyway, I guess I'll post what I wrote on All Soul's Day:
November 1, 2004
Woah, I think I'm high on incense. Even if I'm on top of the mausoleum, the graves surrounding us belong to Chinese families, so they're each burning 5 incense sticks for each grave. O_o But anyway, argh, people keep on moving the table I'm writing on! >:O
Phew, where was I? Anyway, I'm at the cemetary now. On the top of the mausoleum. (As I type this, I realise that I said that already. XD) Gerard actually brought Uncle Aldo's TV here, and Tristan brought his PS2 O_o. So~ we're playing the PS2 at the mausoleum. =P I still roxxors at Twisted Metal Black. Jeth and I played Scrabble with the girls. XD Damn, our scrabble board looked pretty pathetic. But then again, Angela and Christine are 8 and 10 respectively, so I guess it's understandable. It's either that, or Jeth and I just suck at Scrabble. XD ANYWAY. At least it's not as noisy as the two karaokes here. Ugh. Ironically, one person sang "Bring me to Life" by Evanescence. XD Teh irony.
Things are still the same here at the cemetary. Candles, annoying kids, some exposed graves here and there. The sky is clear, as it always seems to be every All Soul's Day.
O_O There are 5 large bottles of beer in front of me. My male cousins (Jeth included) go drinking again. >_> Vices vices. Honestly, what's so good about beer anyway? I mean, it causes liver complications! And there's nothing handsome about beer bellies! XO
*ON MP3 Player*
My 5 day stay here in Iriga has flown by. Like my dad said, before any of us would notice, it'd be time for us to head back to Manila. We leave tomorrow, lunch most likely. (NO! We left at 9AM, and we got stuck on the road for 14 frickin hours! x_x) Just imagining the traffic gives me headaches. >_< I still remember last year; it was horrid. X_x;; I still can't believe that my school gave us no sem break whatsoever. Talk about uber damot man. >_>
I just caught my cousin smoking. >_< I doubt he's allowed to smoke. Tristan was with him. If he was smoking too.. I'll seriously beat the crap out of him. >:(