- find out what I want in life
- this moment to happen
- be a Dean's List-er
- learn how to ride a motorcycle
- go skydiving
- go scuba diving
- make my own blog layout
- learn how to use Flash
- travel more
- improve my drawing skills
- VINTAGE
- go to a Flea market
- a Tarot Card Deck
- fashion sense
- femme outfits
- witty t-shirts
- vintage clothes and accessories
- make my own clothes!
- go on a shopping spree
- contribute to WWF
- a DSLR
- bake something
- A CAR
- A CAR THAT I CAN DRIVE - an underwater camera
- cosplay again
- visit my online friends
- stop being a safeist
- happiness
Damn it, I cannot cram all of these thoughts in my head onto my blog in 30 minutes. Mom says I'm lacking in sleep, so she's making me go to bed at 9. Plus she thinks I'm anemic. I'm probably going to wake up at 4 again if I sleep at 9. But that's not what I'm here to post about.
Yesterday when I got home, I showed my mom the bracelet Matt gave me. She told me it was pretty. She used to have one too. She said she'd show it to me when we go to Iriga again. I asked her how I could thank him for it. Since we both used to make bracelets, my mom told me to make him one. A bracelet for a bracelet. I liked it. Then we went out for dinner with my cousin and her fiancee again. We even met Bayani Fernando and Mikey Arroyo at the small resto we were at. We got home at 12. And the first thing I did was check for updated blogs.
I was supposed to make the bracelet today when I got home from school. But instead I cried at school. Then I cried when I got home. I tried to avoid the PC. But here I am. Woo hoo, go me..
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for getting my friends involved. I'm sorry for being a burden. Racine, I'm sorry for making you feel bad about yourself. Cai, I'm sorry for making you put up with things I should have faced. Gela, Kari, I'm sorry for making you worry. Gretchen, I'm sorry... I don't think I can paddle anymore. My kayak has been overturned, and the rider has fallen over the waterfall. You still have a chance.
But most of all.
I'm sorry Matt. For everything. I don't want to count how many things I'm sorry for, because I know I'll probably miss something. I'm sorry for ever beating you at YM games, and for agreeing to your bets. I'm sorry for always being busy and unavailable. I'm sorry for making you paranoid and for leaving you confused. I'm sorry for letting you compare yourself to another person. I'm sorry for letting you go all the way to our school. For making you even contemplate cutting classes. For making you think up of an outrageous plan that never pushed through. Partially, at least. I'm sorry for never telling you how much I like you.
I'm quite a fish, aren't I? You should do everyone a favor by hitting hard me with a paddle and throwing me back in. There are so many other fish in the sea.